Got the mum here to stay.

Had a lovely day wandering around Keukenhof (very funny), and then onto Bella's place for salad and a lovely boat ride. Kit Kat and Chris popped by too which was nice but kinda bizarre :)

Now been having the chats with mum in my living room, and realise, life doesn't get easier when you are older and single, and probably, it's even harder to not get hurt when you meet guys and they're not right - you're out of practise of doing it, and you're not really all that used to the dating game, then you meet someone and immediately they want something and get quite arsey if you don't give it to them. Not flattering, as my mum says, you don't want to be just any woman, you want to be the woman they want to be with for a reason.

Also attitudes - I'm not good enough, why would anyone want to be with me, I'm bad at relationships, I'm not easy to be with, I'm bolshy and bossy.
None of the: I'm a lovely and caring person, most people I meet like me, I'm fun and energetic to hang around, I never stop pushing myself into areas that are difficult for me, I am intelligent and independent (this is NOT a bad thing as my mum seems to see it), I know what I want, and won't settle for less than I'm worth.

I wonder where I get all my attitudes from then (joke!?!) I guess what I have is that I have gone from seeing those things as negatives - 'ehy would anyone want to be with me?' to being positives along with 'Why do I want to be with them, what are they going to give me?', and if the answer isn't clear or they're being a bit wishy washy, I cut them loose. This has been hard, but it's been hard learned over three years of dating a real variety of men.

My mum is ace, and I wish she could see it more.