Sometimes I wonder what life is trying to tell me - I, personally, think it's shouting something it only has to whisper in my ear.
I get it.
For me, there is going to be no life of togetherness, walks in parks with someone heart swelling, no lying in bed nestled into someone's warmth. None of that.
For me it is going to be wild travel punctuated by a little affection and company, some side by side standing, flanks touching for warmth, but not a lot more.
I just have to learn to accept that, because at the moment I can feel my whole body and soul bucking against it, and it's making me miserable.

I am going to be that one at parties who's held the most interesting life, who has the stories to tell of the places I've been and the other people I've met, but who will always slightly look on those familes and lovers like I wish I'd had what they had. While they look at me and think the opposite (arm clasped around whoever stands next to them).

I know this may be my path, and is definitely my path for now, but I can't help myself staring either side of the straight and narrow and wondering now and again if I might not find someone to hold my hand down it. Is that so wrong?

The thing is, I know I am ok by myself, that I am self-sufficient, that I can survive, and not only that I can have a bloody brilliant time, but the grass still looks greener from my side of the fence. I count my blessings while I also feel a bit sad that they are my blessings, and that someone else's might be so different.

I try to accept what will be will be. But I don't have to always like it.