It's been really hard to get myself to post in here, as you can tell! Barca was great, if a little exhausting. Let's just say I crammed a lot in to my four days, including a lot of talks with paula, bless her. She's going through it at the moment. And I felt very lucky I'm not so much (but now I cam back to Amsterdam and have also been wondering about my life, and yes, loves).

I got there on weds evening. Thurs was saint joan's day, said more like 'san juan', and so we took it easy in the morning, headed out to the beach, and then back to P's for getting ready and some drinks with crazy (beautiful all in different ways) contingency of swedish girls, seriously stunning all of them - blond, brown haired, tall and red-haird, one with these cat's eyes and chiselled cheek bones and not a wrinkle on her!

Anyway, the night was great, we hung out with them, walked to the beach party on this great beach, and then danced the night away in a bit of a splinter group with Floris and other Dutch friend, think they both lived there now. They had some stuff that kept us going until like 6.30 in the morning, watched the dawn and everything (beautiful).

Next day, write-off, watched two films and ate a lot of junk food we'd bought the night before. Headed into Grazia for food in the evening, even though I really could've just stayed in and eaten takeaway, instead we got taxi and I had the most expensive burger and chips that was just a lump of meat on my place with some potatoes next to it, no gravy or sauce or anything. blurgh!
I wasnt in the best of moods by the time we left (and went back to get Paula's jacket that she forgot).

Next day lovely- beach, shopping, bbq in town, then back home to change, and back again to Grazia for the evening. Even though I know Paula loves going out there, really don't know why she's so stuck on it - we walked from bar to bar, and found a good place to dance right at the end of the night, just for half an hour can you believe (and paid to go in almost full price, but we did then get a drink). It was fun because of the end part, walking through the streets barefooted with Paula getting the horn and trying to find another party - too funny. I had a bit of a sense of humour failure when we left yet another bar to walk miles to get to another bar that wasn't gonna be all that busy.

Next day bit hungover again, but we still went to beach and hung out all day which was great. We had planned to go out of town, but instead went to a different beach than we had before because it was too late by the time we were ready and out. Strangely I wasn't hungry at all, all day, I saved some cash because was just not bothered. In the evening Paula did my hair (very orange actually!) and we tried to get a curry but by time we'd gotten everything done, the place was closed, so we ended up with some junky cook yourself type food instead, it was actually ok.

It was so nice to see Paula, but I really felt like she's not that happy right now, and that was hard to see - mixture of not meeting any decent men, and also not having her career to do as there's no work in architecture, apparently. She's instead going to do something else like jewellry design now and see where it takes her.

Great if somewhat tiring weekend - been down the last two days because it got me all of thinking about things and what I'm doing too. Funny how sometimes the human condition is to make yourself bloody unhappy!