So I don’t want to blog now but I have to get this down…I wrote this last night by the way. Tonight it is friday and once again I am probably back a bit early but am tired and can't be bothered to be out...so.....

I just went for an interview at another agency that I could actually see myself working at…I didn’t think the role was quite right, but I loved the woman who interviewed me, and I think it went alright (well you can never properly tell really, can you??) But I enjoyed it. That was a good first step away from where I am now.

Then I went on a date with a guy I met on Saturday night at a club. I wasn’t expecting much, to be honest, and he’d been truthful with me that he had a lot of baggage. I’ve been there done that with a few guys before. At least he was truthful. Anyway, meeting up with him tonight, we had a good time. He was lovely. He had a mid-evening rant as per baggage, but he obviously knew he was doing it. He is blatantly going to need a lot more time to get over things. Meanwhile I thought he was really nice. The first guy since M. I could see that in another time, another place, we could really get on. I can’t let myself now for obvious reasons – I can’t be doing with someone I can’t be honest with. And despite my recent experiences, I feel like I probably couldn’t be with him. What am I looking for – I don’t know. But right now I feel like my heart is raw and bleeding again/even while going on the date makes me feel like I am getting over M.

Even while I am sitting here crying, not about him but about the fact my heart feels like it is still beating somewhere else in the vicinity and not in my breast….it’s a very odd feeling.

On the one hand I’m glad I met someone else nice. On the other hand I wish I hadn’t right now; How weird is that??