Friends you're not so sure about

I don't know whether you've experienced this, but ever had those people who you're not so sure about? This particular person is a colleague from work, she is so nasty about absolutely everyone else that I can't help wondering what she is like about me when I'm not there. When someone asks her 'so what's SJ like?' 'Skinny, Superior, stuck up, British, but kinda nice' is what I imagine she might say, but who knows?

She can't help but be a bit bitchy, and some people you can take that from because they're funny and lovely and you know their heart is there in the right place even if it is a bit smaller than it should be.

I guess if I wasn't here in Amsterdam I probably wouldn't be friends with her, but in a strange way I find her fascinating, because she is so the polar opposite of me in every way. She is a bit like one of those kids who just wants everyone to look at them, and she'll say or do anything to get that reaction off people. And coupled with the fact that she says that 'she doesn't give a sh1t' a little too much, you know that really, deep down somewhere, she does give a sh1t because people who don't, don't even care that people think they don't give a sh1t if that makes sense. It's like someone who says they think they're fat all the time. They don't, they just want people to say that they're not fat or don't look fat, or look fabulous darl-ing.

Anyway, with this particular person, she has been very nice to me, so in a weird way I like her because she does sort of grab the moment a bit like I do. On the other hand, she has no idea what subtlety, tact and restraint are, and that sometimes you just DONT say certain things (Like talk constantly about the valentine's thing with the only single person sat in the group, because maybe they might not want everyone to know what they're doing.

This week I have been doing a lot of thinking around types of people and why they're like they are, and sometimes I wonder if it would be better/nicer to not have that quality, and if I didn;t would life be that much easier, being oblivious?

Deep thoughts for a friday, but, well, I am in that sort of mood I am afraid tonight!