Frm the 9th of Jan.

I’ve been finding it so hard to write in here recently…so here is an attempt to tell you what’s been going on this week.
Had a very quiet week of work, winding down there again, the brief I was supposed to start on last week just didn’t happen, so I spent the first half of week working on my own stuff, second half getting stupid little Pampers briefs that I really don’t care about any more.
I’m waiting to see if Euroflorist comes in, if it does then I guess I’m here only another month, if it doesn’t then maybe even less than that. Scary! But also so over it.
Went out every evening practically – Monday dance class, Tuesday I felt shocking, weds also felt pretty tired and did Yoga, then thurs went to a Bachata try out, which was cool, Friday was dance and then headed over to Namit’s birthday (was v proud of myself for getting there – it was at Canvas, and the count was there with new girl. It was hard to get myself over as didn’t finish dance until about 10 (it started late, Harri and I went for a very posh drink of tea & chat, before-hand while we waited for it – found out Paddy is new contact in Dubai, and he is really bad, strange their choices of people to get in). It was raining and all I really wanted to do was to be at home, but it was his birthday so what can you do. It was good to go, not so many people turned up and then it was Erika, Yvonne and Victoria, along with the count, Erik, Dumi (who immediately started copying how I say things and trying to grope me; he really does not realize how annoying it is to get everything you say repeated back at you with a faux UK accent!!!) and Namit and couple of others I didn’t really know.
The count basically ignored me (thought it should be the other way around but there you go), I went over and said hi, he was chatting to his friend, he stopped to say hi and kiss me three times, and that was all I said to him all night. Erika actually said more to me (she liked my hair and outfit), but then she also disappeared, think with the count and then did a bit of her storming around looking a bit stressed out, or very, very important thing with wrinkled eyebrows. It’s a shame I won’t get to know her better, she obv now knows I don’t exactly want to be her friend from the FB add, I think I like her more than him now…she at least handles it all better (get in quick and say something before buggering off).
I got back here late and so failed at Bikram in the morning, instead I went for a very small run with Harri, before running my errands and going over to Rogiers to do the ‘bake-off’. I combined three different cakes to make a lime/chocolate taarte. Even made the pastry base, although I should’ve made more of it, it really was not big enough…it turned out good, after assembly back at mine!
Then in eve had the girls night – Anna came, who I met at the count’s, plus the aussies and some of their friends and Mira, Harri and Dom came just for drinkies, and then we met clare in there (I like clare a lot, she;s so very poised and northern). The party was not as good as we were all hoping, it was super crowded when we went in, and then just a strange mix of people who weren’t really letting loose. Girl in front of me dancing with an attractive blond guy was having the most fun, they were basically dirty dancing and partner dancing having a whale of a time.
Jen was trying to be a good wingwoman, but all the guys she was chatting to, then passing them over my way, were about ten years too young and kinda cute but not my type. Chatted to a few guys in there. No one really special.
Got in at about 3, ate a croissant (have eaten v badly this weekend!~) after dropping Jen off for friets,
This morning was again up late then, and lazed a bit before going and meeting dom and Travis for a walk in the park (wow that lady can talk, I get the impression she doesn’t get to talk much so when she meets up with friends it all comes out). She is very nice anyway, am liking our weekend meetings and it gets me out the house for a long walk…

I had a lazy afternoon of reading and thinking, and then had to pop the cake over to Namits (yes bit late on!!) before coming back here, eating and chilling a bit more.
Now bed.

Reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, it’s very interesting, if hard reading, and makes you really think about all your actions and anxieties and why you have them. He’s really an intelligent bloke.
I’m having a bit of an awakening at the moment, which was well needed last year…really thinking about who I am, the issues I have and why I have them, but more, just letting go of them a bit and getting on with it.