And now for today's post.

Today is the first of August. How time has flown (again), I can't believe it was like 8 months ago that I just got back from Japan and celebrated new year with the girls. It doesn't feel like that long ago...When I think of all that has happened in between it feels a bit more like it, but it also feels only like yesterday I was sat on the idyllic beach all by myself, burying a stick of feelings into the sand and slowly feeling better about things.

I feel like it's almost time to email M and let him know that I am ready to forgive him, if there was really anything I had to forgive. Or whether it really bothers him any more. I still don't know if I will ever be able to see him again and not feel a bit strange, but being here has definitely helped.

I got a job offer for my post here. Not my most ideal job in the world, but I love the agency and the people I work with, and feel like a step back from london life for a few more months won't do my any harm. I love Amsterdam still, with everything that has happened to me here, and would rather be here over the winter than in the UK. The job offer isn't bad (until I convert the Euro's back to pounds which I guess I will have to stop doing soon!). This means I have a lot of things to sort out when I get back to the UK. Brilliant.

And still not quite sure why I am here, except to drift along the tide of life for a bit (or maybe that's the canal of life for a bit) so that I shall do. SJ x