having some kind of wierd confidence crisis at the moment, it's not fun.
Wondering what I've done buying somewhere here. I do love it so I know it is going to be ok...but I miss my friends in the UK, miss the easy banter I have with them.
I was out to say bye to Jo, a lovely night, and I felt fine until quite a few people I don't know that well turned up. Then I just turned into the wobbly person who spews bullshit - talked to Paul, blah, blah, London, blah, blah (blank looks!!).
Then to Micheala and even Dougie (it was eve spilling onto people I know fairly well).
Wine was rough and was feeling down and tired so I left.

I feel more confident with people who don't know me very well at all at the moment.

The problem with that lot is that I know them well enough to be able to talk to them a bit more, but I don't talk to them any more, and I'm conscious that I don't either because I don't feel all that comfortable with them, or because they don't with me. I've had lots of opps to meet up with them and go places, and yet I haven't, I need to go out, get wasted with them, just let the guard down and stop blah blahing pointless happy conversations with them, and yet that's exactly what I keep doing.

I just can't figure out what to do about it.

(And I don't like that people keep on leaving, either).