Two things keep going around in my head today, the first thing is 'you gotto get out of this place', and also 'the first love cuts the deepest, baby'. I think that both of them might just be true.

Had a good weekend (a friend was staying and we went to a boat party), but the dread I'm feeling of going back to work tomorrow makes me realise that I really have to get me ass in gear and whatever happens LEAVE WORK. Until then M is going to be permanently in my head, if only because I associate work with him and him with work, and have to see him every day in and around there too. It's time to leave. And they were much happier times at work too (obviously). I'm just having problems deciding what it is I want to do....go somewhere else (to be honest if it wasn't for the team thing I'd probably already have left), stay until I manage to land something abroad, just quit and take some time off to go travelling. I'm sure one will leap out of me suddenly, when the time is right that is what usually happens, but at the moment it's all a state of limbo and one I'm not really enjoying at all.

Bring on the next phase of my life, this one is over and the hangover is making me very twitchy.

Doesn't help that the rugby is on everywhere at the moment, and that's something I also associate strongly with M. And I keep having these pangs like I should've tried harder - as if that really would make a difference (I am sure if I'd been into that, then something else would've been wrong and freaked him out). Yes, I love being a totally neurotic girl, it's great :0)