Urgh been feeling horrible again the past few days. I realise that my confidence really has taken a knock from this whole thing. And I hate that I can't even get angry at M to get over him.
I think once I leave work I may have to orchestrate some anger in order to move on - you know the type of thing....how could he throw something so great away, how could he not want to try, how could he break up with me in the most romantic place in the world, why didn't he tell me anything of what was going on in that head of his, why isn't he more upset now that we're not together any more?
I'm hanging onto the fact that he will miss me when I leave work, that'll be when this 'clean break' comes.
And I think the above means the getting angry part might not be as hard as I think. He has been a bit of a pratt when I think about it, how someone can break up with someone because they don't know how to make you happy any more, because they're scared it's coming up to the year mark, because 'we make a great couple but not a great husband and wife' is beyond me.
See? I'm getting there. Feel a bit better already.