It's funny when you feel your past life unraveling, as your new one is being knitted into something more meaningful than just the string that was before.
Of course your life before was something as well, the memory of your favourite black stone-washed jeans, the one you bought with your ex-boyfriend. Or the jumper your mum bought you for Christmas, the black speckedly one you were so impressed she found for you without you picking it out.

I spoke to anna today, and it was so nice to hear from her, but she isn't coming to see my at New Year because she has to save to go with her other friend to South Africa, and so I also won't be seeing her for my birthday. Most my friends didn't even reply about coming here for New Year, so I guess I'm here with my 'new friends' instead. Which is fine. It had to happen. It did make me feel a little sad though as I realise we're both getting lives that the other one can't be a real part of. We have the tendency of being a spring, it uncoils, becomes a new shape, but you know it could spring back into its original shape, or rather it is its original shape even though it's becoming something new. I wonder what will happen to our friendship if we only see each other a couple of times a year, even less than we did this year, and this year we had the Cuba holiday, such fun (even in the oddness that is cuba, my goodness that place is strange).

food for thought tonight.