SO i had a lovely weekend at home with my family.
We had our family christmas a bit early, and mum cooked. It was really nice to be back in London again and go out shopping, spend some time with my mum and brothers and sleep and chill out. It was cool. I think after my emotional outburst last week it was a good thing to get some TLC and I came back feeling a lot more positive about everything.
We had a halloween christmas - I bought a pumpkin which we all carved, that was fun. I'll post some piccies up when I download them.
The strangest thing happened as well. That night last week when I was feeling all emotional, teary and rubbish, I had such a good cry. I cried first because I was really missing my Dad. Then I cried because I missed Mike, then I cried because I was remembering how it all happened. Then I cried because I missed my Dad again. It felt horrid at the time, but now I feel like I just got a lot more of that pain and angst out. I guess the old adage, better out than in is right - I'm still pushing all that emotion out.
I felt so much better since. I was all worried about the new man too, and that seems to have gotten better, I'm trying not to worry about it as much, think about it too much, and just enjoy it. I've had a lovely time every time I've seen him so far so it does seem a little bit stupid to do my usual trick of panicky ending it because I was feeling scared and sad. We shall see.